"I dont start gangs! Gangs start themselves!" - me. shit happens naturally, feel me?
so last night the brezzys got together
we joined our girls Hottub at a show in downtown SF, yay MORE brezzyness! they killed the show of course ... like usual...
man seriously i love hanging out with these girls. Their energy is so electrifying i ALWAYS dance it off and there's tons of jiratin' that takes place. hahahaha
I remember about a year ago hanging out on 22nd and Bryant street over in the San Francisco Mission district and seeing all these super sweet low rider cars and a bunch of lights and cameras down the street. Obviously a movie production was taking place. Then Mayra Ramirez walked in the house and confirmed it when she told us about her 2 minutes of fame. She had herself a mini role in the film as a fly homegirl who cusses some dirty guys out as they try to hit on her. The film im talking about is: La Mission.... check the video interview for an inside scoop.
I like how the director and writer, Peter Bratt talks about "LOve" and how we always sound apologetic when we talk about love and even call it corny. I was like, "damn thats true, i do that too" (actually i even say it on my little blog bio) =/ hhmmmm.... That made me feel like damn why do we always need peer aproval to be ok with how we feel. Why cant i just feel the way I feel and not be apologetic. As if being hard and tuff makes you cooler. As if, not expressing your true feelings makes you safer. Maybe it does? I mean it probably does protect us from getting hurt. I've been there done that though, i've kept my true feeling inside instead of expressing myself and lost more than i gained. Well i'll see how this will help me transform the way i communicate when it comes to love. And i dont mean that love between a boy and girl love (only) but the love to just love. The love for passion, family, community, music, etc. sorry if i keep sounding made corny with this lovey dove talk (SEE!! apologizing!) haha, no but i dont always talk like this so its a big deal for me to be on this tip. until next time...
Soooo, I did thesamethingI did 6 years ago when I finally turned 18 and leftLosAngelesandwent north to San Francisco..... I packed my bags and left not only to a new city but to a whole new continent where i didn't know ANYONE!!!This time though, it wasn't a 1 hour flight away. Now i live in Milan Italy which is 9 hours ahead the place a call home (time zone not distance). So when its 9am here, its midnight in California. How? & why? you may be wondering... well Im doing an exchange program with my SFSU (my university in Cali). But honestly, i dont even know why. I guess i have A.D.D. but its for living in a place too long. No, i needed a change of scenery (but the bay IS still one of the most beautiful places) or most of all a new way to approach and study fashion design. I am at an art academy taking fashion courses in Italian which is also challenging but fascinating all at the same time.
Im here for one year with one of best friends Joicy Serrano who is studying graphic design and she is the best person to be here with because she is mad strong, determined and we understand each other. We are both Los Angeles natives with roots in El Salvador who are going for the gusto.
So yea, it wasn't easy, we had to take 2 years of Italian Language and we had the meanest lil Italian man teacher who i think didnt like us because well, i dont really know he was just uufff (its a long story).So whatever, we still did what we had to do: jumped into a green tube to end up in a whole 'nother world, spit flames at anything holding us back, ate mushrooms to stay alive, collected feathers to fly and got mad points from it! There was nothing stopping us from saving the princess!!! oh wait, that's another story!.... but u get my drift....
Anyhow... we didnt even tell anyone becasue we didnt want to jinx it or what if we didnt end up going!? We would of just been a buncha talk and nah, we weren't going out like that...But when the reality of us really going got closer and closer, it was like fire. Nothing could get in the way... even when it hurt sooo much to leave my loved ones... We even had a going away party/fundraiser at my house before we left. It was a great success with the help of my friends volunteering as bartenders, DJs, door ladys, etc. A lot of people came and i got to say good bye at the same time while making $$$ for my trip. It was also a collaboration with Wonway for his 30th bday....fun fun fun
Even though it sucks to leave my friends and fam for a year i feel good because i got so many people back home sending me much love and support and i know when i go back they will mostly all still be there and if not, when you really want someone in your life, you TRY! But yea, its a sacrifice that im willing to make. I left a piece of my heart back there too which made it soo fucking hard to be out here the first 3 months.But the universe does the things it does and i accept and instead of getting jaded or getting mad for not being ready to be in a serious relationship at this point in my life, i just send this person my unconditional amore in hopes of someday getting that in return. Unconditional Love. Thats another story.
Moving on... it was hard when we first got here to find a place to live. We finally got a cute lil apartment 15 min walk from school just for me and Joicy. It has two balconies and i get my own room!!! If your wondering why im so excited about having my own room, its because almost everyone shares a room. Its not even about money, that's just how people do. I want to do a photoshoot in the apt so when i do i will post them for you to see.
And now here I am, 2 1/2 months after arriving, adapting to a new culture and most of all, lifestyle. Its been quite the experience and i appreciate it all, even the rough parts. I can be here complaining about a bunch of things (because naturally, we resist to change sometimes), which happens most likely because we are scared. But i rather be here complaining than in the states complaining. There im less likely to encounter an opportunity so intense like this one, that forces me to look and listen to myself before and during my actions and reactions. And as open minded as i may be, there is still those little piece that needs work to be completely free. But self reflection is inevitable these days in my life.
And everyday gets a little better and better. Everyday I learn something new about the language, my studies, myself and the world. So, honestly, i love this!!! Sometimes I wonder must i really go back?
this is a collection of stories, events, thoughts, truths, sarcasms, etc as i experience them, process them, interpret them and spit them out my mouf... enjoy.
Posts
